www-user@eschew.tech:~# php /disclaimer.php

Parsing file for display: /disclaimer.php...

STANDARD DISCLAIMER

THIS PAGE CONTAINS IMPORTANT LIMITATIONS ON YOUR RIGHTS AS A USER OF THIS WEB SITE. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ ALL TERMS OF THIS DISCLAIMER.

This website and all content provided locally is copyright © 1993-2025 eschew.tech or it's respective authors, heirs, designated survivors, fiduciary agents, legal representation, or my cat. All rights reserved.

Eschew.tech's obligations hereunder extend only to authorized users of this website. Users are deemed authorized solely at Eschew.tech's discretion.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Failure to appear will result in a warrant for your arrest. All quotes are delayed 20 min. Patent pending. Readers of this website may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities by falling into the water.

No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Please stand clear of the doors (Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas). For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Package will be returned to sender, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets.

Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes and fees. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. You may not rent, lease or lend this web site. This web site is not a toy. Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

For best results, remove cap. May contain traces of wheat protein. Fits one head. Do not turn upside down. Product will be hot after heating. Not to be used as protection from a tornado. Not meant as substitute for human companionship. The contents of this web site should not be fed to fish. This web site can burn or irritate eyes. Safety goggles recommended. Not intended for highway use. Do not use as ear plugs. Do not use intimately. Misuse may cause injury or death. Not to be used as a personal flotation device. This server is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. Do not use for personal hygiene. Do not use for a baby wipe. Users are encouraged to discuss the advisability of accessing this website with their personal physicians and to review the U.S. Centers for Disease Control ("CDC") website for updated information regarding accessing this website. Operator may for any reason at any time and without prior notice, cancel, advance, postpone or deviate from any content plan, or substitute content at its sole discretion. User agrees to solely assume the risk of injury, death, illness, or other loss, and web site operator is not responsible for any user's use, neglegence, wrongdoing, or other behavior.

First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no website. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one per family, please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included.

Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. You may use one (1) copy of this web site on a single computer. Intel Inside.

DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Not intended for off-road use. Best if used before date on carton. May explode if recharged improperly. Contains no artificial colors or ingredients. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply. This form must be returned with 30 days of the purchase date. Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Do not use near power lines. Use only on underarms. No sex in the VIP lounge. Not air-tight. Do not eat raw dough. May contain very small rocks, brown gravy, and you may be turned into a newt (but you will get better).

This website exists for the sole purpose to provide entertainment. For me, not you. Additional protection can usually be obtained by purchasing insurance from a private company. Website may be hosted in a facility that processes tree nuts.

Not affiliated with Columbia Broadcasting Service. Contains small parts; not suitable for children under 3. You must be this tall to go on this ride. Place your seats and tray tables in the upright, locked position. No radio. Avoid prolonged breathing of fumes. No bills larger than $20 accepted. The information presented here may not be sold. Driver carries only $5.00 in change. Property of Major League Baseball. Do not operate electronic devices during take-off and landing. May be hazardous to your health. This site contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause birth defects. Keep fingers away from rotating blades. In case of emergency, call 9-1-1. This device complies with Part 15 of the FCC Rules. Third party fees may apply. Keep away from magnetic fields. This is not a Sun-supported product. Dispose of properly. Remove from drive after use. Static sensitive devices. Not recyclable. No deposit, no return. Blade is sharp. Walk, don't run. Company confidential. Under construction. Do not use in shower. Do not use while sleeping. Caution: This is not a safety protective device. Not intended for use as a dental drill. Not approved for veterans. Do not use as an ice cream topping. Use like regular soap. May contain foam. Not Dishwasher Safe. Not for human consumption. Do not use while sleeping. Device must accept interference from other sources. May be hazardous to humans and domesticated animals.

Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Do not use orally. Keep out of reach of children and teenagers. Do not use as ear plugs. Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth. Do not use intimately. Cannot be made non-poisonous. For indoor or outdoor use only. Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems. Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame. Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. Do not use orally after using rectally. Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. This site is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark. Do not attempt to swallow. Do not weld can to rim. Nothing on this site should be construed as legal or financial advice.

This license is non-exclusive, non-sublicensable and is for evaluation and trial use purposes only. Vendor makes not representations about the suitability of this software or about any content or information made accessible by the software, for any purpose. Provided 'as is' without any express or implied warranties, including warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose or noninfringement. Not designed for the operation of nuclear facilities.

Some material contained herein not suitable for Liberals. To ensure compliance with requirements imposed by the IRS and other taxing authorities, we inform you that any tax advice contained in this communication (including any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties that may be imposed on any taxpayer or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed herein. Warning: All liability waived! Web site access is an inherently dangerous undertaking. Make your choices and take personal responsibility for the outcome of your usage of this site! Protect your privilege to access internet sites by not making the headlines or becoming a statistic. Once site is used rectally, it should not be used orally. Do not eat iPod Shuffle. Site does not host burritos, tacos, pizza rolls, Hot Pockets, Turduckens, or any other food-based product.

Subject to the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act, we cannot disclose to you any information which we may gather and we cannot confirm to you the existence or non-existence of an investigation. Neither the website operator or the manufacturer of this server will be liable for any brain damage arising from the use of this product. Some jurisdictions do not allow exclusion of incidental or consequential damages. You agree to waive those exclusionary rights by continuing to use this website. Not suitible for home, institutional, or industrial uses. Any provision of this Agreement that is determined in any jurisdiction to be unenforceable for any reason shall be deemed severed from this Agreement in that jurisdiction only and all remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect.

If you are under the age of 13, please discontinue use of this site immediately. Go outside. You shouldn't be looking at this site. There's an entire world of cool shit out there for you to explore!

All stunts preformed by professionals. Do not attempt these stunts at home. Any information you may find on this site may be inaccurate, misleading, dangerous or illegal. None of the authors, contributors, sponsors, administrators, vandals, or anyone else connected with this site, the hosting ISP, common carriers, ICANN, the United States Government, or my ex wife, in any way whatsoever, can be responsible for your use of the information contained in or linked from these web pages. The information contained on this web site is being given to you gratuitously and thus there is no agreement or understanding between you and eschew.tech regarding your use or modification of this information. By using this system, the user consents to such interception, monitoring, recording, copying, auditing, inspection, ridicule and disclosure at the discretion of authorized site or eschew.tech personnel. Unauthorized or improper use of this system may result in administrative disciplinary action and civil and criminal penalties. By continuing to use this system you indicate your awareness of and consent to these terms and conditions of use. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY if you do not agree to the conditions stated in this warning. See important information on reverse side.

This system is monitored to ensure proper operation, to verify the functioning of applicable security features, and for comparable purposes. Unauthorized attempts to modify any information stored on this system, to defeat or circumvent security features, or to utilize this system for other than its intended purposes are prohibited and may result in criminal prosecution. Information presented on this website is considered public information and may be distributed or copied. Use of appropriate byline/photo/image credit is requested. This web site is not intended for use by anyone and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Failure to comply with the terms of this summons may result in the supsension of your driver's license by your home state.

While every effort is made to ensure that accurate information is disseminated, we make no representation about the content and suitability of the information for any purpose. The information contained on this website is for general information purposes only. You should not rely on the material on this webiste as a basis for making any busines, legal, financial, or family planning decisions.

We might collect and use information about you, your devices, and your online interactions with us to provide, analyze, and make fun of you and your crappy PC/10 year old phone. This also includes personalizing content or advertising to you, we'll probably randomly throw up an obnoxious pop-under for a porn site with a woman fake orgasming LOUDLY just to embarass you. We might use a cookie to store a session ID or something stupid like that. But probably not. We don't have a privacy policy because we really don't care and quite frankly you shouldn't be accessing this site, as explained in the above disclaimer. Look, I'm an idiot and probably couldn't figure out how to collect personal information anyway.

This notice supersedes all previous notices.

**EOF